Have you ever wanted to seek justice from those who hurt you? Or at least wanted to find out how were they doing after months have passed? Would you feel disappointed and angry if they were actually doing better without you after having thrown you under the bus?
We have all been there. From our loved ones, our family, our friends, our partner, our colleagues and our bosses. The effort, the time and the energy you have invested into these relationships has costed you a lot but little to zero to them. And then you got all the blame, the loss and the abandonment while they enjoyed their victories and bliss over your hurt. This is what you think, this is how you feel, which is normal as we are all human. But the truth is a lot deeper to this.
I used to focus on being good and pure all my life, the unblemished sheep. I tried everything to stay away from sin and when I did sin against God, I repented quickly and asked for forgiveness. Wanting bad things to happen to those who hurt me is a sin, asking for God to punish them and show justice by blessing me instead as a revenge, is also a sin. You will come to a point where you start to think, why am I putting myself in such sinful manner when I just want to see justice?
The truth is, wanting to see justice in this world can be a forever waiting process, sometimes you might not even get to see it happen. Then what can you do? Actually, being blessed doesn’t mean you got away from your sin, being treated unfairly doesn’t mean you are punished neither. If you believe in justice, judgement and karma, you are seeking revenge in your energy, and we all know this is a negative energy, low vibration. But if you can let God to do the work, let him to be the judge, then you can remain unblemished.
Why wouldn’t you let God to judge anyway? He knew what you have been through, he knew how you tried to cope. He knew those who did you wrong and he knew what their true intentions were. You might ask then why hasn’t God punished them yet? Well, how would you know he won’t? Or maybe he is giving them another chance? Just like he gave you many times in the past?
Have you ever heard of “everyone deserves a second chance”? I think we all make mistakes. But the most important thing is, trial and error is different to keep sinning without repentance. Children learnt by trial and error without knowing they might hurt themselves or even others. But adult ought to know better. God is patient and he gives us time, yes, the most precious gift, time, in order to change, to heal and to repent. But not to sin again and again.
So if you know someone has hurt you, you will know if they have changed or not. If they have, they will apologize to you. They will want to seek your forgiveness and make peace as it has been burning in their heart too. But if they never admit their wrong and keep hurting others without change, then you can pretty much know they will soon stop having their second chance.
I once had a dream during my DNOS when everything shattered. I didn’t blame God but myself for being stupid. Then I was given a vision of meeting that person on Judgement Day. I wasn't sure what happened to him but I saw him got sent to a different path within 1 minute in front of me. That scene still blows my mind every single day. I felt so sad for having witnessed this and I immediately thought he didn’t do me that much wrong to deserve going down that path…the saddest thing is, when you face God in Judgement Day, imagine yourself not being given a minute to explain, to defend or to beg. I think that is the ultimate judgement one can get. No more chances.
On my second DNOS where I completely lost hope and faith, just wanted to disappear from this cruel and unfair world. I heard the name of a song in my dream. I immediately got up and search for it. It first came up as a love song from the Beach Boy which I got confused, but then the next song that played after it struck me to the core. Here is the lyrics:
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over?
We could start over
God only knows where to find you
God only knows how to break through
God only knows the real you
There's a kind of love that God only knows
There is always someone watching over you. Don’t believe the lies, the fake promises they made to you. They have no power over you. They are just humans like you. Only God can give you a second chance. If you can surrender your need to seek revenge, your need to show the world that you are happier, then you are the real diamond here. Diamond shines no matter what covers them, they are strong and cannot be easily broken. You already shine before meeting them and you will always shine no matter what happens to you. You don’t need to show the world you feel better because they didn’t change you. You are who you are. And the justice part, leave it to God. You will know what I mean someday.
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